


pruning

by Beyond_the_Grace



Series: kindness blooms [7]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Book 3: Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, Gen, Good Petunia Evans Dursley, Good Regulus Black, Harry Potter was Adopted by Other(s), Harry Potter was Raised by Other(s), Hufflepuff Harry Potter, Inferi (Harry Potter), Introspection, Not Canon Compliant, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Regulus Black Lives, Regulus Black-centric, intentionally lowercase
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-26
Updated: 2020-12-26
Packaged: 2021-03-11 04:21:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,573
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28029228
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Beyond_the_Grace/pseuds/Beyond_the_Grace
Summary: it's summer. it's 1993. sirius black has just escaped azkaban.regulus has had better years for sure
Relationships: Past Regulus Black/Evan Rosier, Regulus Black/Petunia Evans Dursley
Series: kindness blooms [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1773583
Comments: 7
Kudos: 156





	pruning

petunia wasn't used to worrying like this. for the past twelve years the most stress she'd had was organizing events for the bookshop she worked at or perhaps having iris but both she knew would end up fine, she had known they'd both end up fine. when regulus came back from a meeting at hogwarts with his face as white as it had been when she had first told him about harry she knew something had gone badly wrong. he had come straight in and made himself a very strong cup of tea. he didn't drink it. he slumped into his armchair and hadn't moved for another two hours no matter what petunia said. iris had been the one to snap him out of it eventually.

their daughter had come bouncing back from primary school, shouting about how ella coldby was a horrible person who'd snapped her third favourite pencil and that the teacher had done nothing and daddy you have to tell her off because that was her third favourite pencil. then, in typical iris fashion, she started yelling even louder when she realized that her dad wasn't listening.

"sorry princess, what was that?" regulus asked after iris had raised her voice once again.

"doesn't matter daddy, are you okay?" 

"yeah, can you give me and your mother ten minutes to have a chat and then you can tell me all about your day?" regulus asked and iris happily skipped off to her room.

the married couple stood in silence in their living room for a few seconds and petunia was thrown back into when they had first found out exactly who the other was. they were young back then but regulus had been just as haunted. neither of them had really had the opportunity to be children and now stood here with him, petunia felt ancient. she could feel her bones and how heavy they all were and couldn't help but wonder how much more of this they could take. she loved her children but the more danger harry was in the more she could wish she didn't. god she wished she didn't love him, that she'd never had regulus to heal the hate and that she could just not love her nephew. maybe it wouldn't hurt so bad now. love was killing her, killing them both.

"i thought there was just one." regulus broke the silence in the most destroyed voice she'd heard from him. "why did i think there'd only be one?"

"one what, love?" petunia asked. she regretted the words as they left her mouth. there were things that neither spoke about and she could almost physically feel how close this was to that.

"horcrux."

the word was unfamiliar but spat out with so much horror and disgust that petunia hated them right there and then. it was the fear in her husbands eyes that chilled her to the bone. she knew he thought himself to be soft and cowardly, god knows he heard it enough growing up, but she'd always found him brave. the fear he was showing made petunia know that this was something of true evil. you weren't raised like regulus had been without some twisted sense of fear. 

"i nearly died for the last one and now are nephew nearly did the same." regulus's voice caught at the end of the sentence and he looked up at her in desperation. his grey eyes that normally seemed hardened and cold were swimming with tears so clear she could almost see herself back in them. he had always been such a pretty crier.

petunia did the only thing she could and held him tight.

* * *

regulus dreamed of evan that night. he dreamed of brown hair and brown eyes that glimmered with mischief and then later cruelty. he dreamed of love but more so he dreamed of fear. he dreamed of holding everyone together as the world around him burned. he dreamed of how he had to teach the other boy kindness, of how he had had to learn kindness just so he could teach it because in a house like his who had taught him. for his mother kindness would make him soft, her kindness came in the form of not going too far, for not cursing him until his brother left.

so he dreamed of evan and his miles of smooth skin that was broken up by scars and screams. the louder boy, the lively boy, the dead boy. he dreamed of barty's cruel comments and of loving evan all the more for it because rebellion in the form of love is the only rebellion worth having. 

he woke up crying.

he woke up determined to tell petunia everything.

"once there was a boy. a mean boy with no one, he was nothing but a name and he didn't know where the name was from. the boy went to school and came out with no friends. he came out with no friends but plenty of followers. then he found the meaning of his name and decided it was common. it was the name of his muggle father so he killed him and his family. he started to realize he wished to live forever and so found a way to do so. a dark way, a horrible dark way that hurts to think of. he'd brag about things all the time but i noticed." regulus took a deep breath and petunia took his hand. "he asked for a house elf and a volunteered kreature but ordered kreature to return to me. when he came back he told me about the cave. 

there's a cave in the middle of nowhere and in the cave is a door. behind the door is a lake. in the lake are dead things - kind of like zombies- so the only way to cross is a boat. in the center is a podium with a bowl of poison. if you drink the poison you get part of his soul. if you drink the poison you'll be thirsty. if you touch the water the dead things drag you under and you drown. if you get out you never truly believe you aren't still there. i have been drowning since i was eighteen and now my nephew nearly died for the same thing."

* * *

_when it rains, it pours_

* * *

harry had been home for two weeks when the paper came through. "mass murderer escaped from azkaban."

all regulus could think was _at least it's not bellatrix._

he felt numb like he was drowning in ice. his mind had retreated back to the cave and he spent the rest of the day doing nothing. he was paralysed by the fear within him and all he could feel were cold icy hands threatening to pull him under but he knew he couldn’t go under because then it would never stop. his lungs filled with water and _hecouldntbreathehecouldntbreathe_. he. couldn’t. breathe.

and his brother was out of prison but he was still in that lake in that cave dying alone. he was eighteen and dying. he was thirty and hyperventilating. he was dead. he was alive. a lake. a chair. is there a difference if you mind never left?

his brother nearly got his nephew killed. his brother was going to kill his nephew. his brother had left him to rot with his mother. his brother had let him drown. no. no. not quite.

he couldn’t think.

there was too much water.

he should pull the plug.

he should swim.

he.

could.

not.

breathe.

it went dark.

* * *

he awoke slowly. the world had darkened since he was last aware and it took a few seconds for regulus to realise he was in the living room. it took even longer for him to remember why. sirius. his brother sirius. the first man to escape azkaban. the boy who’d taught him how to write his name. the traitor who’d nearly got his nephew killed. fuck.

“reg!” harry’s voice broke through his thoughts. “you’re awake!”

"harry." regulus breathed out and drew his nephew into a hug. "promise me you'll be careful this year."

"of course, i always try to be."

"don't you dare go anywhere without at least neville. preferably blaise as well."

"not luna or theo?"

"do you think they could take anyone in a fight?" harry looked guilty for a second before shaking his head. "i just need you safe. he went near you i don't know what i'd do."

"do you think he'll come after me?" harry asked with wide eyes. regulus had half a mind to lie and say that he was going to be safe. he couldn't bring himself to.

"i think he might. but you do not want to go after him ok? he's very dangerous."

"okay."

still harry's promise wasn't enough and as regulus saw him off onto the train that year he did so with a sense of dread he was uncomfortable with. petunia took his hand and he tried to focus on the love he had for the family he had at the moment and not think of times passed. he tried not to think of sirius's barking laughter or the screams of his mother that'd echo. he tried not to think of cousin bella's cackle and narcissa's silence.

when he got home he pulled out a piece of paper and poured a glass of whiskey. he began to write

_ dear andromeda.... _

**Author's Note:**

> i love and appreciate all the support yall have given me through out this series and i thoroughly hope you have enjoyed this installment  
> xxxx


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